A Kidney In Exchange For The Perfect Body? March 5, 2011

I had an interesting question posed to me the other day:

“What would you pay to wake up tomorrow and have the perfect body?”

Immediately I wondered if the bank would give me a line of credit for such a thing.  Perhaps I could say it was a business venture.  Or I could sell all my shoes! YES! I have quite the fabulous shoe collection and could probably rake in a few hundred dollars selling them on Ebay.

I realized I would have to sell some organs on the black market to make this dream a reality.

A hundred thousand?  Two hundred-fifty thousand?  What would it be worth? Would you pay more than what your car was worth brand new?

After thinking about it for a minutes, I realized that I wouldn’t pay much at all.

I would wake up being the same exact woman I was on the inside with an outside that was my idea of perfect.  The insecurities, negative self talk, fears that I let rule my life would all still be there.  I would merely be a very hot woman that has all the same issues, problems, and psychoses.

“What would you pay to wake up tomorrow and be confident in who you are?”

That’s the real question.

The wonderful thing is that you don’t have to pay a dime.  You could wake up tomorrow and choose to be satisfied in yourself and know that everything about you is worth enjoying. Tomorrow you have the opportunity to look past the fat woman in the mirror and truly see yourself; all of your amazingness, power, and strength.

Being fully you and proud of yourself is gorgeous.

Paying to wake up beautiful is what Hollywood does…and let’s be honest, they really don’t have it together over there.

 

Popularity Isn’t As Grand As They Make It Out To Be… March 3, 2011

I go to the gym every single day, even on my off days. Yes, this is more than a bit OCD but I am a creature of habit and enjoy the hot tub, steam room, and foam rolling on the off days. Our showers at home don’t need the soap scum removed but do require a good dusting now and again.

I keep all my workout gear at the gym so all I have to do is roll out of bed, eat breakfast, and brush my teeth before I head to the YMCA. One morning I went to grab my gear out of my cubby and my shoes were missing. I happened to see a piece of paper where my shoes were supposed to be. It was a note from a woman that took some shoes home that she thought may possibly be her shoes. She wasn’t 100% sure, so she left a long diatribe about how she took some shoes and if she took your shoes, you should email her. She ended the letter with her email address and a drawing of a smiling flower.

At this point in the morning I was not a smiling flower.

I found myself standing in the locker room dressed and ready for action without my shoes.

A huffy email was drafted from my phone demanding she return them ASAP.

They were returned the next day with a very apologetic note.

I promptly put my name on the inside of my shoes and made a public service announcement to all the women in the change room about the shoe thief.

A few weeks later as I got dressed for a killer leg day my shoes went missing. One minute my shoes were there, and then two minutes later they were not.  As of that moment, I was officially upset and unsure about the kind of women that work out at the YMCA. While I got ready for work after not working out because my shoes were MIA once again, I devised a plan. I decided to go out and look at all the women’s feet that were working out and make a scene when I found the perpetrator.

My fiery intensity that was pent up from not being able to train my legs was going to be unleashed on the shoe thief.

While applying my mascara, I notice one of my friends covertly motioning to me. She quietly let me know that a somewhat confused looking woman just walked in with shoes that looked like mine.

So I staged a confrontation.

I found the woman standing next to the shoe cubby holes looking bewildered. With my hands on my hips, I minced no words and asked her if she was wearing my shoes, and if so, why?

Apparently she was. She couldn’t find her shoes, so she opted to use mine. They looked similar to her shoes and since she didn’t know where hers were she used mine. WITHOUT SOCKS.

The shoes were still warm when she handed them back to me.

The best part was that my shoes appeared to be about 3 sizes too large for her. She had to batten those suckers right down to get them to stay on, which resulted in a Ronald McDonald-esque look.

I just have one question: Who are these people and how do they not know what their shoes look like?

Apparently I have the most popular shoes at the YMCA. I’ve always wanted to be popular, but if this is popularity I think I’ll pass.

Mere DAYS Until Competition!

The few weeks before your competition a calm settles over your whole being. You are fully committed, ready to for action, and extremely disciplined. The finish line is just around the corner and you are fully committed to giving it 100% until your name is announced and your find yourself walking on stage in 5 inch clear heels and a bedazzled bikini in front of hundreds of people.

Nothing can shake you. You are unmovable. Diets are stuck to with 100% accuracy; one cracker, one bite, one morsel is NOT an option.

A few of the fabulous Bikini Or Bust Competitors have their competitions this month and have found themselves with mere days left until they achieve their audacious goals. They are coming down the home stretch like champions!

This month we get to journey to the stage with Faith, Chantelle, Lisa, and Liz on as they finish as strong as womanly possible. They have battled through travel, injury, self doubt, extra cardio sessions, and intense lifting and come out the other side stronger than ever. They have not faltered, wavered, or given up in their resolve to live out their dream.

When you find yourself in the last few weeks of contest prep odd things concern you…things like elbow and knee fat; but far the most hilarious comment I have heard from this group of women is, “I need my butt to come OFF my legs!“.

Yes, that is what every woman wants; a clear distinction between her butt and legs. Once we figure out how to conquer this, we will attack the cankle epidemic!

It is your time to shine ladies! We are all so proud of you and are cheering you on as you race to the finish!

Dreams Hidden In Your Heart March 2, 2011

We all have dreams in our hearts. Some may be planted deep inside, hidden away from the world; but they are still there and cannot be denied.

I had a dream in my heart to compete in a Figure Competition and I hid it as deep as womanly possible in my heart. I was afraid and had no resources to make it grow. Luckily I had people around me that watered my dream when I had nothing left. My husband gave me the push and incredible support to start working with a personal trainer and chase all of my dreams in life and fitness, my life coach lead me on a path of self discovery to find out who I’ve been created to be, and my friends and family rallied around me and cheered me on when I thought I couldn’t go any further.

They watered my dry and barren soul and now I have a garden of dreams growing in my heart.

I am incredibly grateful to have been given so much hope, love, and support in making my dreams a reality.

I am blessed to live in Canada where I can spend hours a day training, chopping vegetables, and obsessing about my muffin top. There are people in the world that WISH they had my problems.

They dream of not having to worry about feeding their families, having a roof over their heads, and a means to provide for their children past today.

The seeds for these dreams have been planted deep in their hearts, but now they need water to make them grow. How can we not water these dreams?

I believe that together we can change the lives of 5 people in the month of March by lending them the money they need to start or increase a business to support their families. I believe that collectively we have enough extra to give life to 5 people’s dreams. I decided to work with Kiva because they are a non-profit organization that gives micro-loans. Each entrepreneur is responsible to pay back their loan over a specified term. When the money is paid back, you have the choice to reinvest your money or get it back.

Imagine the impact that we could have through the reinvestment of the same funds over and over! For as little as $25 you can bring hope, life, and health to people all over the world time and time again.

It is amazing to me that $275 can give life to someone’s dream and create a better future for their tomorrow. Read about the brave and courageous people who have declared their dream out loud and are waiting for the rain to come.

Let’s be rainmakers and change the world!

Here’s how:

1. Join the Bikini Or Bust! Kiva Lending Group. Currently I am the only member and feeling rather lonely…who’s going to be the first person to step up?
2. Spread the word. Once you’re a member you can send invites out to your friends and family.
3. Give. The minimum loan is $25 and you will be paid back when the loan is repaid.
4. Help me CHOOSE who to give the funds to. Everyone that is part of the group will be able to vote on who we change the world for on March 31, 2011.
5. Double your investment. For the first $1,000 that is donated, a very fabulous man has committed to matching the funds. Your $25 is now $50.

Let’s empower those who have a dream in their heart but no means to make it grow. Let’s bring a flood of hope and impact in the month of March. Let’s show the world what a group of fit, strong, and amazing people can do.

“How wonderful it is that nobdoy need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

– Anne Frank

Let’s change the world today.

Turbo Boost March 1, 2011

I love being ‘Camerican’. I can cross the border with ease, one moment I am American and the next I am Canadian. It is absolutely perfect.

Growing up in America I enjoyed the benefit of a healthcare system that gave you the help you needed immediately; the down side being that you paid for it out of pocket.

Now that I live in Canada I enjoy the benefit of a healthcare system that you don’t have to pay out of pocket for; the down side being that you don’t get the help when you need it.

To get in to see a specialist is an excruciating and character building experience. I already have a lot of character – I grew up with the name Donloree Dickau for pity sake!

After being diagnosed with Hashimoto Thyroiditis (I always feel like I should clasp my hands together and bow when I state my disease) I was put in the cue to see a doctor that is very skilled in this area of medicine, but not a specialist. Thus began my 9 weeks of waiting…and I am still waiting. And just in case you thought 9 weeks was long, to see a doctor at the Endocrinology Unit at the U of A Hospital the waiting period starts at 16 weeks!

I took the 9 weeks and ran, or more accurately stated, sluggishly proceeded.

Finally I decided to take action! No more waiting around, it was time to demand that I get in sooner to see someone.

I resolved to get some momentum, so I called my doctor’s office to ask for help.

DLH – Hello, may I speak to the person in charge of referrals please?

*after 15 minutes of being on hold I was transferred to the grouchiest woman on the planet*

Grouchiest Woman On The Planet – YEAH?

DLH – (In my most cheerful voice) Hello there. I am just calling, well, I need your help. I know I got a referral to see a specialist-esque doctor, but I am desperate. It is so far away and I am wondering if there is another doctor in the city I could see. I need some help. Can you help me? I feel horrible all of the time. (tears start to well up at this point)

GWONTP – First of all what is your name? Secondly we already referred you. I can’t do much else.

DLH – I’m Donloree. Donloree Hoffman.

GWONTP – Yeah. I see you already have an appointment for the end of March. So what do you want?

DLH – (The tears and desperation are making my voice wobbly now) I want to see someone as soon as I can. I want help. I want to be better. Can you please ask for another referral?

GWONTP – (SIGH) I don’t think that she’ll do it but I can ask. I will call you back when I hear from her. *Harrumph*

*Then she proceeds to hang up on me*

Two weeks pass by and I hear nothing. The extreme brain fog and tiredness make it hard to remember to call back and see if I have a referral to a doctor that could see me earlier. Finally desperation sets in again.

DLH – Hello, this is Donloree Hoffman. We spoke a few weeks back and you were looking into another referral for me. I was just checking to see if an appointment has been booked.

GWONTP – (SIGH…HUFF…) No. I have not heard back.

DLH – Can you look into it please? I will take anything.

GWONTP – Fine. I will call you back this afternoon.

*No call back occurs*

DLH – Hello, its Donl…

GWONTP – Yeah, I know. I called and can get you in to see another doctor 2 weeks earlier, but I don’t see the point. I mean you already have an appointment for the end of March, what’s a few weeks?

DLH – PLEASE! I will take anything. Even 4 days sooner is 4 days closer to a solution than I was before I am desperate. I need help.

GWONTP – Yeah, ok. FINE. I will call and see if they will take you.

DLH – Thank you?

This afternoon my phone rings and a very pleasant and kind hearted woman from the new doctor’s office called with an appointment for March 14. If I had the energy I would have hopped around my living room. I thanked her profusely and also noted that her kindness was appreciated.

Two more weeks until the next stage of health and healing begins. Project ‘Get Donloree Healthy‘ just got a turbo boost!

What do you need a Turbo Boost in?