You can never have too many! January 29, 2011

Most women will agree that you can never have too many pairs of fabulous shoes; after all a shoe always fits even if you did splurge on your meal plan the day before. While training for a Figure Competition, I have found even more things that I can’t seem to have too many of!

Mrs. Dash

Whoever Mrs. Dash I think all Figure Competitors love her. She turns chicken and veggies into a flavourful greek delight, gives fish a lemon pepper zing, and can make bland cottage cheese something to look forward to. I think I have every Mrs. Dash flavour invented as well as all her distant cousins.

These take up a whole shelf in my spices cupboard. I rival most grocery stores for selection!

Supplements

Creatine, protein powder, iron, multi-vitamins, calcium, BCAAs, Omega 3’s, and glutamine are a few of the things I have copious amounts of and that have started to take over the breakfast nook in our kitchen.

I call this area of the house, 'DLoree's Pharmacy"!

Protein Shaker Cups

Every time I buy protein they give me free shaker cups. The first few times I was thrilled. Now I don’t know what to do with all of them. I have actually stopped taking them even though they are free, and I LOVE free things. I even have some shakers that have small whisks in them – they are my high end shaker cups.

These are stacked in a precarious manner and threaten to fall on my head every time I open the cupboard with my baking supplies. Good thing I don't bake that often anymore!

Ziploc Containers

I need to be able to put all the components of an epic salad or my many meals for the day into spill proof containers so that I don’t find half a salad sloshing around the bottom of my purse while I am on the go. I have enough containers to package up a small family’s leftovers for a week or keep track of a few days of my meals. It’s totally ridiculous.

And this isn't even all of them. This was just one drawer...I have MORE!

Fabulous Shoes

And of course tons of fabulous shoes. Pants only fit for weeks at a time while in contest prep mode and at there is no reason to have more than one or two pairs if you are only wearing them for a few weeks. So I have invested wisely into a fabulous shoe collection!

Jon and I agreed that I should limit the amount of shoes to what fits in this holder. I have become adept at cramming the shoes in!

What do you find yourself with possibly too many of since training for a competition? Do you also have Ziploc, Mrs. Dash, shoe, supplement, and protein shaker collections?

Figure Competitor Shopping Woes November 28, 2010

The only reason I can still wear my jeans is because they are a tapered fit and my thighs are rather muscular. The jeans are hanging on by the thighs, nothing else. Oh and my belt that is cinched to the max.  If it weren’t for my thighs and that darn belt I wouldn’t have anything left to wear on my bottom half.

I am down to two skirts, one dress, one pair of jeans, and one pair of dress pants. My wearable wardrobe has shrunk to almost nothing. Thank goodness for stretchy Lululemon pants; they are my saving grace!

With this problem, you would think I would be shopping like a mad woman, but I am not. Whenever I buy something it only fits for a small amount of time, so unless it’s $5 it really doesn’t make sense to purchase it. I just need more belts!

I can’t even justify buying more shoes…and I can’t believe I am saying this…but I think I have enough…

This is just my boot collection...I have other 'collections'....

My shopping muscle is about to atrophy. This is serious folks! Grocery shopping just is not the same as clothes shopping. Purchasing a fabulous pineapple just doesn’t do the same things for you as purchasing a sexy little black dress or a stylish winter coat.

Luckily for me, I think I found something to strengthen my shopping muscles. A Figure Competitor gym bag. Currently I use reusable grocery bags as my gym bag.

Things fall out and I can't find my keys when I throw them in the bag on my way into the gym. Living in the arctic, this can quickly end up being a matter of life or death!

As much as I like grocery shopping, I don’t need to constantly be reminded of my vegetable-aholic tendencies.

It’s time to find myself a cute, stylish gym bag that gives me added panache each and every morning.

I think I have found a solution! The Core.

Sturdy but cute - just like me! 😉

And it’s on sale this weekend…AND it’s my birthday in a few weeks. So in an effort to help my husband out, shouldn’t I just purchase my own birthday present? I mean, he has to buy TWO gifts in one month for me.  That’s enough to cause the bravest of men to cringe.

The inside is fun and sassy. Women totally get this. It's the same as wearing fuchsia underwear with your sensible black power suit.

I have the bedazzled suit and the clear heels and have had three coats of spray tan applied to me….yet I haul my workout gear around in a reusable grocery bag. It makes perfect sense that I purchase myself a kick-arse gym bag, a Figure Competitor worthy gym bag.  Right?

After all, April 9th is just 133 days away and I need to be prepared! Is it time for my to get my shopping muscles in motion again?

Possibly The Most Random Day EVER… October 14, 2010

Today was totally weird.  I spent the day doing things for my *gulp* first Figure Competition.

The day started as it usually did at 5 am with me lurching across my bedroom to find the alarm so that I could make the incessant noise stop.

Then I made coffee.  I clearly have my priorities straight.

After that, the day went completely weird and wonky.

At the gym I found the Edmonton Journal article about me and my journey to this competition tacked up on the bulletin board in the women’s locker room. It is freakish to see yourself staring back at you with only one cup of black coffee in your system.

After that experience, I needed more coffee. I picked up a fabulous cup at Credo Coffee and felt more prepared for the day.

Turns out I should have gotten two cups.

Next up was the polygraph test.  Upon arriving at the office where the test was to take place, I immediately started to sweat. And not just a little bit; buckets of sweat.  The purpose of the polygraph is to ensure that I haven’t taken any of the banned substances for the all natural show. A very tall man strapped me to a chair facing a completely blank wall.  He put little clips on my fingers and a blood pressure gauge on my arm. The veins on my arm immediately started to pop out and my hand turned a lovely shade of purple.

Then the questions started.

Polygraph Man – Is your name Donloree?

DL – Yes. (sweating profusely)

PM – Do you know what the banned substances are?

DL – Yes.

PM – Do you intend to lie in response to any of these questions?

DL – NO! (a rush of adrenaline coursed through my body which may have resulted in me failing this question)

PM – Have you taken of *insert huge list of drugs* in the past 7 years?

DL – No. Definitely not.

The questions went on. There were only 10 of them, but it felt like an eternity while staring at the cream wall that definitely needed a new coat of paint.

Then we went through it all over again.  I had to do the test twice.  Apparently it ensures that the testing is accurate. When I was unstrapped from the chair I jumped up and asked, ‘Did I pass?”.  His response? “Well, if someone calls you up and tells you not to come on Saturday, I guess you’ll know you didn’t pass.” This did not make me feel better. It made me feel like kicking the very tall man that straps bodybuilding women to chairs in the knee, but I refrained.

Now I find myself cooking supper in my five inch clear heels and bedazzled bikini.  While I scramble my egg whites, I am practicing the side pose and trying to flare my lats as much as I can. It is really hard to smile while posing, so I have implemented a new rule.  If you have the clear shoes on, you’re smiling.  So I am also grinning like a weirdo while I do this.

Last minute prep is turning out to be rather bizarre.

Next I attempt gluing the tiny, bedazzled suit to myself…I may need to be supervised for this task…

The Purse of a Figure Competitor September 21, 2010

Training for a Figure Competition has kind of taken over my life, but, I can’t let it take over EVERY part of my life!

I love shoes, purses, and accessories. They are fabulous because they fit all the time, no matter what size you are, and they always add panache to the day.  Every woman needs at least a smidgen of panache each day.

That being said, I refuse to carry around large, ugly, utilitarian purses to house my Figure Competition training supplies. This is where I draw the line.

I keep make sure to have my splash of panache every day.

Keeping it cute and sleek! No insulated lunch purses for me!

But I also make sure to have what I need with me.

Oh my! That is a lot of stuff inside such a cute purse...and what the heck is all of it?

There are many odd things that are in the purse of a Figure Competitor….things that most women would never think about putting in their purse.  Sure, I have all the normal things like a wallet, lip gloss, pens, spare earrings, keys, and business cards…but I also have weird things.

How in the world does all that stuff fit in that fun Nine West bag anyways?

• Food Journal
• Protein drink
• iPod and headphones
• YMCA membership card
• Creatine, BCAAs, Omega 3’s, Calcium, Glutamine, Iron, and a daily vitamin
• Toothbrush and toothpaste

And then there are some normal things that I don’t have in my purse.

Nothing to freshen the breath...hence the toothbrush and toothpaste!

It is my last month of training, so I am not consuming any artificial sweeteners.  None at all.  It may trigger an insulin response resulting in minor weight retention.  I am fighting the battle of my life against a very stubborn muffin top. I will do whatever it takes to be victorious; even if it means hauling around a toothbrush and toothpaste to ensure I have a fresh, minty taste in my mouth and don’t succumb to the pressures of mints and gum!

If you’re a Figure Competitor, what weird things do you haul around in your purse?  I am so curious!

Shoes in the Mail! September 17, 2010

When I checked the mail this evening, I found something VERY exciting!  A notice from Canada Post that a package has arrived for me.

The notice I have been waiting THREE WEEKS for has finally arrived!

I put my order in for my Competition shoes over three weeks ago.  I was quite concerned that there was some fiasco at the border and that the shoes wouldn’t make it to my house…so much so that I called the company and begged them to chase the shipment down for me.  Last I heard, the shoes were hanging out in NYC…not that I blame them.

So off I ran to the postal outlet to fetch my shoes.  Chopping, weighing, and measuring supper can wait!  As a Figure Competitor it’s important to have your priorities in place; shoes obviously come first.

As my five year old niece would say, "EEEEEEE!"

I ran home head first into the cold, arctic wind we are currently experiencing up here in Alberta and immediately opened the box.

Yes...I purchased two pairs. I just couldn't decide!!

At the time, it seemed completely reasonable to purchase two pairs of shoes.  What if I didn’t like one of them?! To pay to ship them back to America and then purchase another pair and pay shipping yet again, well it just didn’t make sense.  I am QUITE sure that it won’t make sense at all to my husband.

I am very happy to finally have my shoes, it makes it feel like its really happening.  Now I have to answer the very important question, ‘To bedazzle or not to bedazzle?‘

Completely clear and streamlined or a splash of bling?

I guess I have 30 days to figure out the answer.

And they go with EVERYTHING.

They totally go with jeans, right?

I am officially 6’1″ with the shoes on…a GIANT Figure Competitor.  Posing practice is going to get even more intense with these puppies on.  If you hear a very loud crash and a clear, bedazzled, five inch heel goes flying over head; don’t worry it’s just Donloree Hoffman up in Alberta having a near death experience while practicing her posing!

Shoes of a Figure Competitor August 23, 2010

I love shoes and have many, many pairs of fabulous shoes.  There is just something about a great pair of shoes that makes them special.  When I went to NYC last year, somehow 5 pairs of them traveled back to Edmonton with me. They were just so fabulous that I couldn’t leave them behind

I was just being a good woman…who can blame me?

I have shoes for all different reasons.

Some just because they are fabulous…

Chic, comfortable, and fabulous. The perfect combination!

…others because they are sensible…

A mary jane with a twist.

…and others for when I’m feeling sassy!

For that touch of fun and whimsy that a woman needs some days!

Seeing how I am always looking for a good reason to buy shoes, you would think I would be over the moon about purchasing the perfect shoes for my Figure Competition.

Alas, I am not.

The shoes need to be:

• Five inches tall
• Clear
• Without an ankle strap
• Kinda, ok a lot, trashy….

While looking online, I found few options.  But I just can’t bring myself to buy them, well, because I think they are just plain ugly.

At least this one has some bling....

Or I could buy some with a bit of a platform…

These seem to scream 'sudden death by falling off the stage' to me.

And they don’t fit in with my current collection.

Just a taste of a few of my favorites!

The competition is just around the corner, so I have to buy some and quick! I am going to need time to wear them around the house so that I can learn to walk in them without looking like I’m about to topple over.

Anyone have a lead on some cute Figure shoes?!